Middle of the road

I'm stuck in the middle. I'm socially liberal, but I go to church. I believe in Jesus and equal rights. I follow Jesus and go to drag shows.

I love Jesus and I love the gays. Jesus never said a word (at least not one that was recorded in the Bible) about homosexuality so I don't feel I have a place to say anything either. He did say to love your neighbor. Everyone of them. Not just the straight ones. Not just the pretty ones. Not just the church going ones. Not just the ones like me. Everyone. So I try to.

But...

It puts me in this weird place. I spend time with my homosexual friends and family and I spend time with my church going friends, but don't feel like I can mix all of them. I always feel like I'm representing the other when I'm with one.

My beliefs don't go along with many church beliefs. But they do follow Jesus' and that's what truly matters. I'm okay with that. I do not think religion is the way to heaven. Jesus is. So, I hold strong to Jesus and my gay friends and family and know in my heart I'm doing right by all of them.

Jesus is totally bad ass and so are the kings and queens I'll be performing with in April. That's right. I'm manning up and performing in a drag show! My sister and I will be preforming together. I'm equally excited and scared. I love the attitude at the shows and can't wait to be part of it! I have NO idea how I'm going to make this curvy busty body look manly, but I'll try to rock the sock in my pants and make it happen. Maybe I'll wear a 'Jesus loves you' shirt or something...

Oh my back

I've always had back pain. For as long as I can remember. I believe it started when I blossomed. I got my first period at 10 and have since has one every 26 days since (minus during pregnancy). I got boobs fast. In 6th grade I was teased a lot for my 28DD's. One boy in particular. Still haunts me. Anyway... When my milk came in after having my first baby I went from a 36DD to a 38J. Yes J. Not as fun as you'd think. They've come down a bit, but I'm still rocking a 40H. That's a lot for my back to hold up. I've always wanted to weigh one of my set, but I doubt the produce section would appreciate me using their scales. Enough about my boobs...lately the back pain has gotten worse and more constant. Not sure if its the nursing a toddler, the numerous baby carrying, too infrequent yoga, leaning to pick up toys, our hand-me-down really rock hard bed or what, but it's annoying at best and awful at worst. Yoga helps a ton but only for a while after I do it. Maybe I need more yoga. Scratch that. I definitely need more yoga!

Night night

Our oldest slept in our bed until she was 17 months old and wanted out. She never looked back. Same attitude with potty learning. Woke up and said 'no diapers'. Done. I was hoping that it was my amazing parenting abilities, but since our second is 29 months and still in our bed half or more of the night I'm starting to wonder. She starts off in her own bed but by midnight she's crawling in with us dragging her pillow and at least 3 binkies with her. Right now I'm sitting next to her bed waiting for Mr. Sandman to arrive. Which is actually really creepy. Never mind. If you were here you'd hear this:

2yo: me not really really tired. Me go downstairs. Me go yesterday!

30yo: it's dark now. That means time for bed.

2yo: abcdfg sing abc's. See me sing mom?

30yo: yes. Good job. Time to sleep.

2yo: I sleep yesterday! Not really really tired today! Me love daddy!

30yo: it's time to sleep.

2yo: abcdfg I sing abc's to daddy not to mommy.

And so on. Some nights it's over an hour. Some nights it's 10 minutes. Some nights it feels like forever because there's homemade key lime pie downstairs and I really really want it yesterday!